Christus and the Cosmonaughts are:
Vocals, Lyrics, Programming, Synths, Theremin
Bass, Synths
Guitars, Vocals
Guitars, Basses, Chapman Stick, Synths
Also featuring the works of
Troy Palmer and Todd Rundall
Christus
And The Cosmonaughts
(a
perforated history)
"'Ere'
now luv, no need for that, you've no one to blame, 'cepting yerself.
Made a right pig of yerself, didn't she there, 'Orace?"
Horace
stirred, scratched his head (the left one) and spit on the sawdust covered
floor. "Thas
right! A
dainty thing like yerself can't expect to swallow half a township, all on her
own, and hardly chewing!"
There
was a rumbling somewhere in the depths of her voluminous gut, which rattled the
very walls of the caravan in which they lived.
Her great girth began to undulate, first slowly then becoming
progressively more violent.
Horace kicked mercilessly at the unconscious form of the third husband,
whose groggily opened his scaly eye.
"Oh,
no, not again!"
He cried as the great woman began retching, "She's gonna blow!"
Indeed.
The sound was deafening.
Windows rattled then burst.
Miles away, dogs howled.
Unborn babies were miscarried, and aircraft fell from the sky, unable to
withstand the turbulence.
Horace was the only one left standing, at first.
He stared at the great field of offal that had been his beloved wife,
tears in his eyes (all four of them), and assessed the carnage.
Just then, about fifty yards away, something began to stir in what had
been her large (and I do mean LARGE) intestine.
Horace watched in horror as the slimy pink thing began to grow and take
shape, resembling nothing less the the shape of a man.
No wait!
Two, now three men!
They were of great size and stern countenance (though not without a hint
of humor in the eyes).
One of them picked up the remains of the dingy brown mumu the great woman
had worn and pulled it over his head.
He then produced a mass of broken metal and wire from somewhere among the
twisted wreckage of the caravan, and shaping it into a thorny crown, placed it
upon his head.
"Boys," he said to the other two, as they shrugged into
raiments of black, "Don't we have a record to finish?"
"That we do," said another, who looked like a priest.
"That was a pretty rough landing, though.
I'm not so sure you really know how to fly those things!"
With that, he tossed a coin in Horace's direction.
It hit the ground at the feet of the stunned, newly-widowed character,
who then watched as the three men, born fully grown from his wife's gluttony,
disappeared over the purple horizon.
These three fellows, as I'm sure you've guessed, make up the bizarre, yet strangely accessible musical group called Christus And The Cosmonaughts. They used to refer to themselves simply as Christus Christus, but after a long struggle to obtain their Dimensional Travel Permits, feel inclined to boast about it a little. They are also weary of explaining the previous name over and over, and would like to now explain the new one over and over. Christus And The Cosmonaughts weave a unique musical tapestry, somewhat psychedelic, sometimes a bit dark, VERY experimental, and definitely not without humor. They like to create musical fiction, particularly science fiction. They have been mistaken for wise men, and have on occasion, been recognized as nerds. They sometimes build their own electronic musical instruments. The front man likes to dress up in costumes to illustrate his fictions on stage (he is a science fiction illustrator, by trade), and has been known to rant loudly at the audience on the subject of Mankind's seeming unwillingness to exercise it's brain. They like to listen to diverse music, ranging from The Legendary Pink Dots, to Nurse With Wound, Magma, Yes (!), Flower Kings, Genesis, Gong, Heldon, Virgin Prunes, Circus Of The Scars, Ian Boddy, Klaus Schulze, Steve Roach, Tear Garden, Universe Zero, Nomuzic, Pink Floyd, Rush, The Land Of Guilt And Blarney (which they play before their shows), and anything on Beta Lactam Ring Records, a label which has been known to put out only cool stuff. If you like these bands, undoubtedly you will find something to like from Christus And The Cosmonaughts.
Discography
Opium Den
Bedtime Stories for Forgotten Gods
Four Whore's Men (Due out soon on Beta-Lactam Ring Records)
My Utopia (....coming soon....)
Music of Christus Christus/Christus and the Cosmonaughts
Super rare 2001 re-recording of an early work.
Another Girl, Another Machine (Version 1.2)
Another rare; never released version and only previously available on mp3.com
A fan favorite. An altered version of this song can be found on the CD Bedtime Stories for Forgotten Gods.
Another never released version featuring a much different drum track. Previously showcased on mp3.com
For lyrics to the above tunes, please click here!
